I see you there Mr Coppy McCopperstien

13 05 2010

And I am not fooled OH NO!

I was speeding down the street today, frantic to get to the gas station before my car choked it’s last and sputtered to a fuelless halt, when what did I spy parked oh so nonchalantly on an upcoming side street. SPEED TRAP! He (all police officers are HE to me, I don’t care if they have breasts and a vagina and are in the process of giving birth in their squad car, if I cannot see them up close I call them all HE.) was cleverly positioned under the shade of a large tree in his light grey, light-barless car with POLICE scrawled along the side in barely noticeable white. But I am more clever, yes I am. I immediately spotted the extra antennae bristling off the top and squeezed the brakes all the while chortling evilly to myself. I would have patted myself on the back had I not feared this would cause me to careen into oncoming traffic, smash into a large and overly gas filled SUV and die in a fiery explosion thus defeating the entire purpose of me playing stealth car bingo with one of my town’s finest. I managed to make it to the gas station still chuckling to myself which caused many a fellow fueler to move away very quickly and leave me to fill my car in peace. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

In retrospect, had I not been riding on a particularly delicious amphetamine and prozac high and thus ueber attentive to EVERYTHING, I would have sailed on past at mach 10 and this would be an altogether different post right now involving many expletives and aspersions cast upon said police officer’s proclivities vis a vis various farm beasts and water fowl.




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