Désespoir! Chagrin! Dénuement! Je fais cuire au four! (Despair! Heartbreak! Destitution! I Bake!)

27 07 2010

Installment 2

There he was, blissfully sleeping in and dreaming of setting fire to his craptastic home, when I received a notice that Yves had neglected to pay his bills and the Repo man was on his way there. Great.

Note à l’individu: Achetez le kérosène et quelques allumettes. (Note to self: Buy kerosene and some matches.)

It turns out to be a Repo woman by the name of Colette Dette. How frenchish and oh-so witty.

Before he can rouse himself from slumber she cackles evilly and snatches away his…well actually I have no freakin’ idea what she took. His easel is still there, and the poor man doesn’t have much. But she walked away satisfied and he was unhappy about having things removed. At least the toilet is still there…such as it is.

But Ms Dette is not done, oh no. She saunters into his bedroom where he is calmly reading a book  and spirits away his bed. Guess who’s going to be doing cat naps on the sofa until he gets a raise?

Vous fille dégoûtante de putain d’un porc! Où sommeillerai-je? (You filthy whore daughter of a pig! Where will I slumber?)

Bedless and sad doesn’t stop hunger, however. Yves bravely prepares himself a little breakfast. Waffles anyone?

Merde! Mes choses sont allées! Je ferai des gaufres. (Shit! My things are gone! I shall make waffles.)

Undaunted, Yves consoles himself with a little skivvies music before he heads off to another day at work.

Porcs méprisables condamnés! Vous pouvez prendre mon lit, mais vous ne trouverez jamais la guitare que j’avais bourrée dans des mes petits vêtements! (Damned contemptible swine! You can take my bed, but you shall never find the guitar I had stuffed in my small clothes!)

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