Welcome to my day…

9 11 2010

Spouse and I were rudely awoken this morning around 7am by the dulcet (if a pack of screeching hyenas could be considered dulcet) tones of the Rabid Hyena Pair fighting. Once the border dispute was settled, I called Rabid Hyena the Elder into the living room, tossing some clothes at him with orders to get dressed. (I have to pick his clothes out or he would don a short sleeved shirt, cut off shorts and unmatching knee socks for 40 degree weather. Seriously.) Catching his clothing, Rabid Hyena the Elder asked if he had school today. When I informed him that yes indeed he did have class, he proceeded to give me shit for not alerting him that there was school today, citing that I ALWAYS alert him when he has school. His words, not mine. Once I straightened out that it was me waking him up on school mornings saying that he had school and not exactly an alert of school, and that he was already awake this morning so I didn’t have to haul his carcass out of bed after repeatedly telling him to get up for school, he finally started donning his clothes. But then came the great shoe hunt.

Rabid Hyena the Elder: “I can’t find my shoes!”
Me: “Are they in a toy box? You know you were cleaning up the sleep room last night, maybe they got shoved into a box.” (the Rabid Hyena Pair sleep in bunk beds in the smaller of their two rooms and we refer to this as the ‘sleep room’. Also? The shoes in a toy box after a room clean up? SO not a new occurence…in fact it’s a guarantee that at least one of them will end up with his shoes in a toy box when they do a massive room clean.)
Rabid Hyena the Elder: “I am positive that I placed them somewhere in the living room or something!”
Me: *long drawn-out sigh for the ages* “Well you cannot be completely positive of that especially since they are NOT in the living room. How about in the closet? Go check there.”
Rabid Hyena the Elder: “No, I did not put them in there!”
Me: *another sigh* “Well why don’t you just CHECK in the toy boxes and the closet anyway!”
Rabid Hyena the Elder: *long, 5 minute pause* “I found them! They were in a toy box! But I didn’t put them there! I don’t know HOW they got there!”
Me: *facepalm*

I wish that I could report this as a singular event, sadly it’s not. It’s amazing that he manages to get dressed, fed, teeth brushed and out the door each day. Were it not for constant reminders and urgings to get his shit done, he’d be attending school starved, with fuzzy teeth, looking like he was dressed by drunken, blind clowns.

So how was YOUR morning?

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One response

10 11 2010
GL

As I matter of fact, I am starving, my teeth are scuzzy and I look like I was dressed by clown crack whores.

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