Vehicular Slaughter

23 12 2014

Dear every other driver out there today,

Those indicator lights…the ones some of you call turn signals? Those are used to INDICATE to the folks around you of any impending turns and/or lateral maneuvers you might want to make. They are not some kind of disco decoration or just to be used ‘if you feel like it’.

kthxbai!

P.S. Go fuck yourselves.

So today I saw an old Chevy van that had it been white would have immediately pinged red flags in my head. This one, however, was painted a lurid shade of purple and had a spoiler on the back. Yes. A Spoiler. On A Van. You know that was doing it no favors. I tried to decide if somehow this was more or less creepy than a white panel van. I mean it’s completely conspicuous, so any sketchy doings would certainly be reported with ease, but yet I still found the creep-factor to be ueber high. I was actually shocked to not see any Grateful Dead stickers on it anywhere, but then that lack is most likely what pushed it into freaky territory for me…as though any kind of band decals would somehow mellow the ick factor. Well, godspeed to people and their life choices, but really…a spoiler? On a van? Ridiculous.

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