Would you like some tea with your disdain?

29 03 2016

Rabid Hyena the Younger is taking an Intro to Culinary Arts class this semester. Every couple of weeks he has a cooking assignment where he has to cook a certain thing and document his work. This week it was to peel and devein some shrimp and boil it. Simple task. However, most of the stores around here that sell shrimp sell it in the EZ peel pre-deveined form. But I knew Whole Foods would have at least one variety that was what we needed, so off we went.

Just as I thought, they had an untouched variety, so shrimp was acquired as well as a few items for which I had coupons…I also grabbed a daffodil for Rabid Hyena the Elder to dissect for his Biology class. I was adulting like fuck! At any rate, as I approached the check outs, I quickly took stock and realized I had too many items for the express lane, which left only one other open check out. I inwardly cringed. The cashier manning said stall was one that I have known in the past. She’s one of those kind of people who work at health food stores. Silently and sometimes not so silently judging as they ring up your purchases. She likes to judge me for buying meat, judge me for having the audacity to be a fat girl, judge me for dairy purchases. I know it sounds as though I am projecting, but I swear I am not. She’s made little comments in the past. I find her insufferable and on more than one occasion have wanted to punch her in her judgy-ass mouth…with a side of hormone & antibiotic laden beef. Honestly, I have rarely encountered people like that at the various health stores in our area…shockingly. Or at least I have rarely crossed them working at said stores. The workers oft times are the cheery, white-rasta, patchouli smearing, herb smoking, salt of the earth types. The people who shop there are a whole other story…the word HONKIES comes to mind.

But needs must and we had to GTFO of the store at some point. I piled our soon to be purchased booty on the counter, including the flower that I had at one point dropped from the cart and rolled over the stem, crushing it. I mentioned said crushed stem and that it made no difference as Rabid Hyena the Elder was just going to dissect it for Biology anyway.

I probably should have kept my mouth shut. I probably should have just let them think whatever they wanted about the sad, lonely, stem-crushed flower. But no…I had to open my mouth and invite stupidity. Immediately, Judgy Cashier asked why he was dissecting a flower. I am almost positive that I looked at her as though she was the stupidest person on the planet, and was about to snark something back when the bagger saved us all by gently explaining why someone would need or want to dissect a flower. I shot her a grateful look and was doing my level best to ignore the other checker when she piped up with “Well, better a flower than a frog. I couldn’t do it.” Really? I’m sorry, you have mistaken me for someone who gives a shit about your opinions. Is what I wanted to say. Instead I shot her a withering look – or what I like to think of as a withering look…she probably thought I was just constipated – and we were on our merry way, me grumbling under my breath about self-righteous twatwaffles.

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