All my gooey personal info!

Bah. Why are you reading this? You don’t want to know about me and I don’t want to tell you. I want to remain anonymous and I will probably offend you at some point, so let’s keep this totally internet-casual, ‘kay? Also you will probably know waaaay more than you ever wanted about my bodily functions, but since we don’t know each other, it’s all good. Now fuck off back to the main page. Please? See, I am not a complete savage, I can be nice when I wish. But seriously, shoo.

Some clarification. Much as I would love to say that my blog title was inspired by the Afghan Whigs, I must cop to my lack of cool and admit that no it was not. Nope. My fucking life inspired it, heh. That’s so much less glamorous, but I couldn’t live with myself if I allowed that kind of assumption to be made. It would fester until I was forced to pry it out with a bent, rusty coat-hanger like some sort of back alley lie-abortionist. And really, no one wants that.


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