Would you like some tea with your disdain?

29 03 2016

Rabid Hyena the Younger is taking an Intro to Culinary Arts class this semester. Every couple of weeks he has a cooking assignment where he has to cook a certain thing and document his work. This week it was to peel and devein some shrimp and boil it. Simple task. However, most of the stores around here that sell shrimp sell it in the EZ peel pre-deveined form. But I knew Whole Foods would have at least one variety that was what we needed, so off we went.

Just as I thought, they had an untouched variety, so shrimp was acquired as well as a few items for which I had coupons…I also grabbed a daffodil for Rabid Hyena the Elder to dissect for his Biology class. I was adulting like fuck! At any rate, as I approached the check outs, I quickly took stock and realized I had too many items for the express lane, which left only one other open check out. I inwardly cringed. The cashier manning said stall was one that I have known in the past. She’s one of those kind of people who work at health food stores. Silently and sometimes not so silently judging as they ring up your purchases. She likes to judge me for buying meat, judge me for having the audacity to be a fat girl, judge me for dairy purchases. I know it sounds as though I am projecting, but I swear I am not. She’s made little comments in the past. I find her insufferable and on more than one occasion have wanted to punch her in her judgy-ass mouth…with a side of hormone & antibiotic laden beef. Honestly, I have rarely encountered people like that at the various health stores in our area…shockingly. Or at least I have rarely crossed them working at said stores. The workers oft times are the cheery, white-rasta, patchouli smearing, herb smoking, salt of the earth types. The people who shop there are a whole other story…the word HONKIES comes to mind.

But needs must and we had to GTFO of the store at some point. I piled our soon to be purchased booty on the counter, including the flower that I had at one point dropped from the cart and rolled over the stem, crushing it. I mentioned said crushed stem and that it made no difference as Rabid Hyena the Elder was just going to dissect it for Biology anyway.

I probably should have kept my mouth shut. I probably should have just let them think whatever they wanted about the sad, lonely, stem-crushed flower. But no…I had to open my mouth and invite stupidity. Immediately, Judgy Cashier asked why he was dissecting a flower. I am almost positive that I looked at her as though she was the stupidest person on the planet, and was about to snark something back when the bagger saved us all by gently explaining why someone would need or want to dissect a flower. I shot her a grateful look and was doing my level best to ignore the other checker when she piped up with “Well, better a flower than a frog. I couldn’t do it.” Really? I’m sorry, you have mistaken me for someone who gives a shit about your opinions. Is what I wanted to say. Instead I shot her a withering look – or what I like to think of as a withering look…she probably thought I was just constipated – and we were on our merry way, me grumbling under my breath about self-righteous twatwaffles.

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How I Became a Drug Chicken (Or, Never Do an Odd Job for a Sketchy Sylvari)

27 08 2015

So I am traversing a lower (lower than my level) area in Guild Wars 2, randomly stabbing undead and slaughtering unsuspecting wildlife – like you do – when I come upon a Sylvari (one of the plant people of GW2) who asks me if I am up for new experiences. Honestly that should have pinged my warning system right off, but like a fool I admitted that I did like new things from time to time because let’s face it, my thief is not too bright…he’s built to look pretty and be deadly. After asking me which of my traits I thought were my best out of strength, speed and agility, in true vainglorious fashion I said all three. POOF! This…this is what I ended up as:

DrugChicken2

Yes, the absolute epitome of speed, strength and agility…a chicken.

Mr Twig then gets to the meat of his task, he wants me to obtain some ‘special roots’ for him from yonder cave. I can only assume that since I am now disguised as a chicken that said cave might be a touch dangerous, but surely he has made me a super chicken, so I should be fine. Right…RIGHT? *crickets*

So I amble and cluck my way into this cave and immediately see my target. I think that this should really be a simple task, and the Champions inside do not seem to notice me at all:

DrugChicken3

DrugChicken4

But, apparently plucking these plants awakens some angry, fire-breathing grubs and despite what I previously thought, I am NOT a super chicken. In fact my ONLY attack is the ability to let out a terrifying squawk.

DrugChicken5

After getting 4 of those grubs on my ass, all hellbent on a roasted chicken lunch, I turn to squawk defiantly before waddling my happy ass out of there. At least I managed to get the stupid roots, I only wish I could have thrown them at the asshole’s head.

DrugChicken1

Here’s your fucking roots…smoke up, hippy!





Midnight Train Going Anywhere

27 01 2015

I have another surgery on my wrist tomorrow to correct a minor issue with my vein-work. It’s not likely to be nearly as invasive as the last one and my recovery time should be less, however, I am still a little nervous about it and cannot sleep. I also have a wicked tension headache from all the nerves, so that’s not helping either. I just plan on staying up as long as I need to, then getting up at 6:30 am, showering and whatnot, ten Spouse will drive me to the hospital. I can sleep later. Since I am awake anyway, I decided to try to do a little writing, even if it’s just this. It’s this or reading some crappy fiction, watching shitty TV or going down some obsessive internet rabbit hole.

Naturally, this posting is paused with bouts of surfing reddit, the occasional glance at facebook & twitter and obsessive googling…and me singing along with Journey’s Greatest Hits. Yeah, I have been on a serious Journey kick lately. No clue where that is coming from. Even now I am struggling to hammer this into some semblance of a coherent paragraph.

Spouse was editing some old video of the Rabid Hyena Pair earlier tonight and shared the completed files with me. I had to stop watching because they were making me cry just thinking how my mom wasn’t around now to see how the boys have grown so much. It’s coming up on a year (in March) since her death and while I don’t cry over it as much, I still think of her almost every day. It all still seems so surreal. I even have a message she left me a year ago, still on my phone. She was pissed and irritated with me when she left it, and it makes me so sad that this is the only record I have of her voice. Okay, time for me to start distracting myself with shiny, pretty things so I won’t dwell.





Wibbly Wobbly Nerdly Wankery Times 1000

21 01 2015

Because I still cannot sleep:

TimeLordName

That Gallifreyan name transliterates to this:

GallifreyanNameCircular

I think I have reached some kind of dubious nerdvana….or maybe I need to try to sleep…

 





An Exercise in Vomit

29 12 2014

People, in general, are fucking morons. If this were not the case, then we would not be seeing yet another Nicholas Sparks novel turned into a fucking movie. This makes me absolutely livid. I realize that I can simply choose to not see said movie, much like I choose to not read his emotional drivel novels, however, I am simply offended that so many of them merely exist. That they share space on this planet with me. This…this makes me so irate that I practically see red.  We are talking Salieri from Amadeus levels of sheer hate here. Roiling waves of anger are flooding off of me even now. Nicholas Sparks is the Emperor of the Daleks in my twisted little mind. Someone needs to incinerate him before he makes an army of soul-crushing films and novels that takes over the world…he’s already got a good start too!

Fuck him in his rusty pie hole with a filthy hatchet!

I just spent a few moments online and found some quotes from a USA Today article about him.

“I write in a genre that was not defined by me. The examples were not set out by me. They were set out 2,000 years ago by Aeschylus, Sophocles and Euripides. They were called the Greek tragedies. A thriller is supposed to thrill. A horror novel is supposed to scare you. A mystery is supposed to keep you turning the pages, guessing ‘whodunit?’

“A romance novel is supposed to make you escape into a fantasy of romance. What is the purpose of what I do? These are love stories. They went from (Greek tragedies), to Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, then Jane Austen did it, put a new human twist on it. Hemingway did it with A Farewell to Arms.”

” Sparks pulls the one beside it off the shelf. “A Farewell to Arms, by Hemingway. Good stuff. That’s what I write,” he says, putting it back. “That’s what I write.”

That’s right. He fucking compares himself to fucking Shakespere. He can seriously go fuck himself.





Vehicular Slaughter

23 12 2014

Dear every other driver out there today,

Those indicator lights…the ones some of you call turn signals? Those are used to INDICATE to the folks around you of any impending turns and/or lateral maneuvers you might want to make. They are not some kind of disco decoration or just to be used ‘if you feel like it’.

kthxbai!

P.S. Go fuck yourselves.

So today I saw an old Chevy van that had it been white would have immediately pinged red flags in my head. This one, however, was painted a lurid shade of purple and had a spoiler on the back. Yes. A Spoiler. On A Van. You know that was doing it no favors. I tried to decide if somehow this was more or less creepy than a white panel van. I mean it’s completely conspicuous, so any sketchy doings would certainly be reported with ease, but yet I still found the creep-factor to be ueber high. I was actually shocked to not see any Grateful Dead stickers on it anywhere, but then that lack is most likely what pushed it into freaky territory for me…as though any kind of band decals would somehow mellow the ick factor. Well, godspeed to people and their life choices, but really…a spoiler? On a van? Ridiculous.





Cheaper Than an Antivan Whore

22 12 2014

I have been playing a ridiculous amount of Dragon Age lately. I don’t as yet have the new game, Inquisitor, but I did buy DA2 which I missed the bandwagon for when it came out, and then I purchased a DA:O + Awakenings super pack from Origin when it was on sale for a mere $15. Seriously, I could not pass up that price, and I lost my own discs for it ages ago. I shant go into any details here about how I blew through DA2 really quickly, finished it and immediately started a new game with a different class, or how I stopped midway through that play-through to revisit DA:O and my horrible pixel crush on Alistair. I really won’t mention any detail about said crush lest I reveal more of how truly pathetic I am. Suffice to say that those games make me feel realllly girly…even when I am playing a male character that is seducing both Fenris and Anders…*coughcoughDA2cough*.

So my plan for this week, which sees both the Rabid Hyena Pair off from school and Spouse off from work, is to play as much DA as possible, glut myself on some ridiculous anime, and relax. This is really no different than any other week, but I do plan to start a serious exercise regimen in the New Year, so I decided this will be my last huzzah. We recently purchased a new treadmill after our old one glitched out again. It seems the particular one we bought previously has a design flaw where you must unplug it while it sits idle…even if it is turned off. Otherwise any sort of power surge will make the console panel short out. The first time this happened it was still under warranty and we were able to get a replacement gratis. This time, however, we were not so lucky and a new console was going to set us back $500. We were able to buy a newer one for that kind of scratch.

When I started this post earlier this evening I had a semblance of a plan for where it would go, however, I seem to have lost the plot while gaming and listening to music. I discovered that I could get lots & lots of streaming albums for free via Amazon Prime, and since we pay for Prime, I have been going insane using the service. I may even be able to ditch Pandora if the Amazon channel on the Roku will play the music too. At any rate, this has made me sink into saving Ferelden from the Blight…because that is 100% why I play Dragon Age: Origins. Yup. No other reasons involved. *cough*